Day 26: Silence

The energy of the whole has taken possession of you. You are possessed, you are no more, the whole is. 

This moment, as the silence penetrates in you, you can understand the significance of it, because it is the same silence that Gautam Buddha experienced. It is the same silence that Chuang Tzu or Bodhidharma or Nansen…. The taste of the silence is the same. 

Time changes, the world goes on changing, but the experience of silence, the joy of it, remains the same. That is the only thing you can rely upon, the only thing that never dies. It is the only thing that you can call your very being.

Osho Zen: The Diamond Thunderbolt Chapter 1

The silent, mirrorlike receptiveness of a star-filled night with a full moon is reflected in the misty lake below. The face in the sky is deep in meditation, a goddess of the night who brings depth, peace and understanding. 

Now is a very precious time. It will be easy for you to rest inside, to plumb the depths of your own inner silence to the point where it meets the silence of the universe. There’s nothing to do, nowhere to go, and the quality of your inner silence permeates everything you do. 

It might make some people uncomfortable, accustomed as they are to all the noise and activity of the world. Never mind; seek out those who can resonate with your silence – or enjoy your aloneness. Now is the time to come home to yourself. The understanding and insights that come to you in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of your life.

****

Silence there was.  A very serene, loving silence.  It hung over the events of the entire morning much like the fog that enveloped us and the house when we woke.  Everything we did – every ritual act, every last-minute check – was silent.  And I was full of peace.

We took the dogs to the dog park right as dawn was breaking, which was breathtaking to behold.  The dew began to glisten on the grass as the sky turned from charcoal to lighter shades of grey to a hazy light blue, capped with a fingernail sliver of a moon.  With palm trees dotting the horizon and mockingbirds’ songs filling the silence, it was a gorgeous way to wake up and made me comment to BD that I am so happy that we get to give someone a chance to experience this beautiful world.

The transfer was remarkably quick and wonderfully calm.  With BD’s hands closed around mine, we watched the ultrasound monitor as a white light shot into the screen – our two perfect little blobs finding their home.  Following the procedure, I laid in the bed silently with my hands pressed to my abdomen, sending love and peace to those two little blobs.

The silence that came with the peace of our minds and hearts was a wonderful way to welcome these two additions to our lives and into my body.

****

Recap of Day 25: I felt so much better following the trip to the acupuncturist.  So much more comfortable, less bloated and haeartburny.  I was rather anxious about today, though, so I did end up leaving work an hour early just to make sure I had everything in order.  I had some trouble sleeping with some bad dreams (par for the course, I assume), but the morning rituals went well and we got to the clinic without a hitch.  (Bonus points to BD for making me take the progesterone shot before going because that allowed me to pre-ice; the nurse wanted to give it to me at the clinic and I was sooo glad that I wouldn’t have to endure that again.)

Today – until Monday morning! – I lay here in bed like a spoiled princess.  A spoiled princess with no air conditioning.

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