Day 17: Ordinariness

Sometimes it happens that you become one, in some rare moment. Watch the ocean, the tremendous wildness of it–and suddenly you forget your split, your schizophrenia; you relax. Or, moving in the Himalayas, seeing the virgin snow on the Himalayan peaks, suddenly a coolness surrounds you and you need not be false because there is no other human being to be false to. You fall together. Or, listening to beautiful music, you fall together. Whenever, in whatsoever situation, you become one, a peace, a happiness, a bliss, surrounds you, arises in you. You feel fulfilled. There is no need to wait for these moments–these moments can become your natural life. These extraordinary moments can become ordinary moments – that is the whole effort of Zen. You can live an extraordinary life in a very ordinary life: cutting wood, chopping wood, carrying water from the well, you can be tremendously at ease with yourself. Cleaning the floor, cooking food, washing the clothes, you can be perfectly at ease–because the whole question is of you doing your action totally, enjoying, delighting in it.

Osho Dang Dang Doko Dang Chapter 3

This figure walking in nature shows us that beauty can be found in the simple, ordinary things of life. We so easily take this beautiful world we live in for granted. Cleaning the house, tending the garden, cooking a meal–the most mundane tasks take on a sacred quality when they are performed with your total involvement, with love, and for their own sake, without thought of recognition or reward. You are facing a time now when this easy, natural and utterly ordinary approach to the situations you encounter will bring far better results than any attempt on your part to be brilliant, clever, or otherwise extra-ordinary. Forget all about making headlines by inventing the latest widget, or dazzling your friends and colleagues with your unique star quality. The special gift you have to offer now is presented best by just taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.

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Well, shiver me timbers, do I need this tattoed on my forehead or what?

My primary and secondary education came from a swanky private school whose motto was, Teach us delight in simple things.  Now, obviously, this was not something that came naturally to any of the students in my school nor was it encouraged in us to engender.  Rather, it was not until I got to college (another swishy locale disguised as Everyman’s College) that I began to learn the meaning of simplicity, humility, consciousness, and presence.  Since then, I hate to admit that I’ve had an ongoing struggle between the habits learned in childhood with the lessons learned later on.  While I strive daily to find delight in the mundane and ordinary, I do find my mind slipping at times, wishing for more grandiose circumstances, people, or places.  It’s embarrassing to admit, for sure.  But human, I suppose.

I long to be content with gardening, folding laundry, sitting here at this computer, picking up dog poop.  I know that there has to be a loss of ego to achieve that, though.  I do believe that I am on a journey and I do have a certain compassion for that process; I am okay with not having lost my ego yet.  But I am comforted with the knowledge that I, logically, know the difference between my ego and universal consciousness.  One day I will get there…

In the meantime, I must just breathe and remember there is beauty in everything…

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Recap of Day 16: Man, was I out of it and fatigued yesterday!  And a wonky appetite to boot.  Usually, I am Master of the Clean Plate.  Not so much these days.  I’m just less hungry, which is totally bizarre for this beast (in actuality, it’s the result of my growing belly, which is putting pressure on everything).  I was blessed with a reprieve when the electricity went out on the whole campus, thereby shutting us down for the day – woot!  I got to go home, play with dogs, set BD loose to work, and then take in a fantastic author reading at the neighborhood library.  A really super evening.  When I got home, I’d been asked to submit two short articles by the editor of the blog I write for, which is good (I like money), but which is bad (I don’t have time).

This morning, everything looked great at the clinic.  Mary, the nurse, said I’m an “overachiever” in terms of my eggs – I’m a total sucker for compliments, even stupid ones about my eggs.  The biggest follicles are now 17 – they only went up by .5!!  Argh.  Mary’s now guessing that the retrieval will take place on Sunday or Monday.  I was so looking forward to Saturday, so I’m a little bummed.  But, I’m going to continue to put my energy into those little buggers and make them grow fast fast FAST.  Saturday or bust.  Now that my estrogen has gone down, I’m going to start the Follistim and Menopur again tonight – let’s hope that gets those little puppies to surge…

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