Zen Day 11: Completion

This is the way of Zen, not to say things to their completion. This has to be understood; it is a very important methodology. Not to say everything means to give an opportunity to the listener to complete it. 

All answers are incomplete. The master has only given you a direction… By the time you reach the limit, you will know what is going to remain. This way, if somebody is trying to understand Zen intellectually he will fail. It is not an answer to the question but something more than the answer. It is indicating the very reality…. 

The buddha nature is not something far away – your very consciousness is buddha nature. And your consciousness can witness these things which constitute the world. The world will end but the mirror will remain, mirroring nothing.

Osho Joshu: The Lion’s Roar Chapter 5

Here, the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle is being put into its place, the position of the third eye, the place of inner perception. 

Even in the ever-changing flow of life there are moments in which we come to a point of completion. In these moments we are able to perceive the whole picture, the composite of all the small pieces that have occupied our attention for so long. In the finishing, we can either be in despair because we don’t want the situation to come to an end, or we can be grateful and accepting of the fact that life is full of endings and new beginnings. 

Whatever has been absorbing your time and energy is now coming to an end. In completing it, you will be clearing the space for something new to begin. Use this interval to celebrate both – the end of the old and the coming of the new.

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Is it just me or do I sense that there’s a trend of liminality in the cards I’ve been pulling?  As I’ve said before, I may be the type who needs a few smart smacks upside the head before I get it.  You know…let go…let go…LET GO, DUMMY!

I have been doing a lot of thinking about how this experience really is a seminal moment in my life.  Regardless of the outcome, I don’t think I will emerge from this the same as I was.  I have tasted what it means to shift focus beyond my own immediate, selfish needs to think about the needs of my family, my house, and, yes, the larger context of my life.  I’m not sure that I will be able to slip back into the existence that I had.  Rather, I’ve had the feeling that I will continue to look at the world in this new (still, to me anyway) way, which is an exciting – and somewhat daunting – prospect.  I haven’t quite figured out how to embrace my new perspective publicly, how to incorporate my “old” life with my “new” one.  But, that’s ok…Rome wasn’t built in a day…

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Recap of Day 10:  Well, I survived, so there’s that.  By far the most taxing day yet.  I could not control my emotions to save my life.  I felt nauseous, dehydrated, and completely fatigued on top of being a complete emotional wreck.  I made poor decisions at work and couldn’t really function, in general, until mid-afternoon when my mood began to even out.  By the evening, I was back to normal.  I had a nice long romp through Whole Foods after work, where I stocked up on all sorts of vibrantly colored produce, exotic grains, and fun fats.  Once home, we turned on our current favorite cd, the self-titled “Crooked Fingers,” and did Follistim/Menopur shot #2 – we both attribute this shot’s relative ease to the good music, but, regardless, it went much better than shot #1.  And what to eat for dinner after buying $100 worth of organic produce?  Chocolate cake, duh.  BD is the most awesome person EVER for bringing home cake from the restaurant he bartends at.  So, we sat and ate cake (or, rather, I ate cake and he ate cereal) and then – wait for it – we went to bed where we slept. all. night.  Maybe it was the Crooked Fingers, maybe it was the chocolate cake, maybe it was the TWO melatonin.  Who knows.  But, we both woke up giddy that we had actually gotten a good night’s rest!

As for today, I just have to note that I’ve been feeling slight pain in what I imagine are my ovaries (right and left side of my abdomen and on my back near pelvic bone).  Now, I could be turning into a hyprochrondriac, but, just in case it’s real, I want to make sure I’m making note of it…

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