Zen Day 5: Going with the Flow

When I say “become water” I mean become a flow; don’t remain stagnant. Move, and move like water. Lao Tzu says: The way of the Tao is a watercourse way. It moves like water. What is the movement of water? or of a river? The movement has a few beautiful things about it. One, it always moves towards the depth, it always searches for the lowest ground. It is non-ambitious; it never hankers to be the first, it wants to be the last. Remember, Jesus says: Those who are the last here will be the first in my kingdom of God. He is talking about the watercourse way of Tao–not mentioning it, but talking about it. Be the last, be non-ambitious. Ambition means going uphill. Water goes down, it searches for the lowest ground, it wants to be a nonentity. It does not want to declare itself unique, exceptional, extraordinary. It has no ego idea.

Osho Take it Easy, Volume 1 Chapter 14

The figure in this card is completely relaxed and at ease in the water, letting it take him where it will. He has mastered the art of being passive and receptive without being dull or sleepy. He is just available to the currents of life, with never a thought of saying “I don’t like that,” or “I prefer to go the other way.” Every moment in life we have a choice whether to enter life’s waters and float, or to try to swim upstream. When this card appears in a reading it is an indication that you are able to float now, trusting that life will support you in your relaxation and take you exactly where it wants you to go. Allow this feeling of trust and relaxation to grow more and more; everything is happening exactly as it should.

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Well, I’d say that’s pretty spot-on, huh?  Reminds me, actually, that I’ve been neglectful of my mantra over the course of this nutty week.

Today marks the end of my first phase of meds, as I took my 18th day of Leuten (birth control).  That was the last official “prep” phase.  No backing out now.  (Well, I suppose we dispensed with ‘backing out’ when I started injecting the distilled urine of post-menopausal women into my abdomen, but who’s taking notes?)  I’m kind of a junkie for milestones, goals, etc., so these markers of time and effort really hit me emotionally.  Not sure how to describe, actually…it’s like I’ve set up a series of goals within this whole process and each time I hit one, it’s like I’m getting that much closer –

Oops.  Caught myself there.  Talking like there are places to go and people to see when I should just be enjoying the ride…and going with the flow.

Focus, be conscious, and breathe.

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Recap of Day 4: again, nothing to report besides the itchy injection (and the foot swelling, although I’m of the opinion that’s coincidental).  I am known for my, ummm, hyprochrondriac tendencies and so, after reading some of the Lupron side effects, could swear that I’ve started to have trouble sleeping.  Yes, I’m waking up in the middle of the night, but, at least in the case of last night, I think it was because a cat knocked over something, which woke up BD, which resulted in him turning on the tv.  So, I’m not sure that counts as insomnia….

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I am thankful that all things are working in divine order for the highest good of all beings concerned. 

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