In a vain attempt to not look like a complete freak, I waited until 6:00 p.m. on the dot to call my friend, T, who’s standing in for BD tomorrow to do the honors in getting my cycle started with my first injection of Lupron. It’s not like I’d written – and erased – at least 2 text messages to her yesterday and almost called her a few times earlier today…
So here goes nothing.
It’s strange to me to think that, should there be a little human to emerge from this whole thing, tomorrow really marks the beginning of the process of his/her conception…it’s like he/she already exists and we’re just prepping everything to put the whole person together. Do not misunderstand me: I am not, under any circumstances, an advocate of personhood at conception, etc. I am staunchly pro-choice and inclined to base my beliefs on science. But, with the ‘romance’ of this entire conception process removed, it’s hard for me to pinpoint at which point to think, “Ok, this counts.” So, I’ve decided that tomorrow counts.
Regardless of the outcome, I’ve decided that I have to carry myself – physically and emotionally – as though this person is here already. I’m doing all of this for this new person, so I better do it to the best of my ability, eh?
Shots and all.
I am thankful that all things are working in divine order for the highest good of all being concerned.